Archive for April, 2012

If I Wanted America To Fail

I would vote Obama 2012

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No Corkscrew Required!

Too good not to share:

Forgot your corkscrew? Open your wine bottle with a shoe!

European Update

H/T: BostonGazette.Wordpress.com

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the Bastards.” They don’t have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”

The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbor” and “Lose.”

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from “No worries” to “She’ll be alright, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we’ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

A final thought –

“Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome to 430 B.C.”

Bacon Lovers Can Die…And Go To Heaven!

In other weird findings, for all of my bacon-obsessed pals out there, you can now beam yourself to the Pearly Gates, wrapped in bacon!

No joke, J&D’s Foods has created this bacon coffin, where lovers of the pork product can find heavenly rest for all of eternity. These fatted caskets can serve as your final resting place starting around $3000.

ALERT: Upcoming US Release of Blasphemous Film “Corpus Christi”

Abraham asked the Lord to spare 50 righteous people. God responded to Abraham’s plea “If I find in Sodom fifty righteous within the city, then I will spare all …..Genesis 18:16-33

The movie ” Corpus Christi ” is due to be released this June to August…a disgusting film set to appear in America later this year depicts Jesus and his disciples as homosexuals!

As a play, this has already been in theatres for a while. It’s called ” Corpus Christi ” which means “The Body of Christ”. It’s revolting mockery of our Lord. But we can make a difference.  Please, share information this with any and all Church leaders and Christians throughout the US, and we just might be able to prevent this film from showing in America .  We are not looking for our government to step in and ban this film, it is protected by the First Amendment…but that does not mean we need to tolerate this smut!

It is time we let our voices he heard.

Let’s stand for what we believe in and stop the mockery of Jesus Christ our Savior. Where do we stand as Christians? 

Please help us prevent such offenses against our Lord. There is no petition to sign, no time limit, or minimum number of people to send an email to… Simply share and pray.

While the War on Religion is gearing up here in the United States, we can clearly take a stand.  It must become apparent, under no uncertain terms, that Christians will no longer stand for these attacks on our faith…and we will refuse to patronize any theatre who chooses to run such a film.  Could Hollywood withstand an all out boycott of their medium? Probably not. It’s about time they heard us!

May the Lord continue to bless us and protect us, may He turn His face toward us and be gracious, may He cause His face to shine upon us and give us peace.

And may we hear his call. May we lift Him up and extol Him. may we bless His holy name.


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Jen Ennenbach

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