What I SHOULD Get My Niece For Christmas This Year

Dear Sally,
Happy Santa Day! This year I got you that American Girl doll you really, really wanted! On the way home, I walked past several children who were much less fortunate than yourself.
In accordance with your parents beliefs, and respect for the values they choose  to instill within you, I immediately took the doll out of the box and began to tear it limb from limb. I gave one body part to each child. I even gave one the box, so they would have a home to live in for the holidays!
Anyway, with it all said and done, all I have left of your gift is the bill for your doll. Please find it enclosed with this card.
Happy worship of materialism long weekend to you!
P.S. If you do not understand how this wonderful gift we have given is in any way fair to you, please ask your mom and dad…perhaps they can explain it. They voted for Obama.
Cheers!

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