As a woman, as a mother, as a wife, I believe my body is sacred. It is sacred to God, it is sacred as my children’s womb and it is sacred as my husband’s deepest passion.
That being said, I am sharing the story of a dear friend, and rape survivor. She refuses to be called a victim…and based upon her plight, I cannot, for the life of me, understand anyone who would. And I cannot understand men or women, regardless if their political persuasion, who are exploiting a violent sexual attack on any woman for gain.
In case you head has been in a hole these past few days, feel free to check out the hoopla over Todd Akin…but what is more disturbing to me is the fact that both sides are exploiting this situation with zero regard for the pain their shameless digs drum up in women who have lived through it.
Here is Kirsten’s story:
As a young woman, I thought I new it all, and the world was mine to conquer. That all changed on bright, sunny afternoon when I was spending time with a friend, 3 years my senior.
Without getting into graphic detail, he raped me…as Whoopi Golderg would say, I was “rape raped”. I wasn’t beaten severely or held at knife point, but I was completely overpowered. I was also in shock, mortified, and in denial of what was happening to me.
Once the deed had been done, I didn’t know what to do. What if my parents found out? What about my peers? What if I became pregnant. The mental torture I endured from that singular event became my secret, and mine alone to bear.
Yes, I was in physical pain…excruciating, but emotionally, I was near death. What did I do to deserve this? I was a “good girl” as girls went, and had lost my virginity to a violent attack. It was stolen from me.
I could not sleep, I could not eat, I spent my days excusing myself to go to the restroom and cry for hours on end until my throat was raw.
Being young and foolish, I did not report the rape for fear of humiliation. On top of my physical and emotional pain, it would be far too bear.
I have no idea if I had gotten pregnant for sure. I do remember, being late for my period for 3 weeks, I had been struck down by a new terror. I hadn’t told anyone what happened to me, and now how was I to explain this? I was sure the man who did this to me would never tell the truth.
I was physically and emotionally at the end of my rope.
Two days later, I started bleeding heavily and that lasted nearly two weeks. I just remember being relieved that I had nothing more to explain away, if there was anything to begin with.
In hindsight, I believe I had been impregnated, and the stress on me, both physically and emotionally, was too much for my system. It was all equally traumatic as the first offense.
For many, many years, I kept this all to myself. Then the real world hit me. Every time there was a major story of a woman going through what I went through, it ripped of the scab to open the wounds anew. I am absolutely outraged that so many men and women, especially in the media, are so careless and self-centered that they neglect the emotions and mental health of rape survivors across the nation and around the globe. Do they not realize what they are doing to us? We relive that horrible, horrible moment over and over again. With every word spoken, I relive every moment, every thrust, every tear, and every fear of that rape.
Do they not realize the shame we carry, the guilt we feel, not to mention the depression? Do they not realize countless women have taken their own lives as a result of a “legitimate rape”, and each time they play such a nasty political press game, they are inching women that much closer to the brink?
I hope it’s worth it to them, to know that they are hurting so many…and for what? Where are the feminists who are supposed to be kind, tolerant, and understand me as a woman when I am hurt? I guess they just don’t get it.
Very good questions, indeed! Perhaps the “rape rape” MSM could get their heads out of their butts long enough to realize that when they exploit such situations, they are hurting thousands upon thousands. How many more women have to relive such a violation, and for how long?
…and based upon this woman’s story, I guess I can see where what Todd Akin said actually makes some sense…